I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
