I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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