I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
