in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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