sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
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