if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize