it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
