whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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