So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
