Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
