Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
