"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
