Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
