Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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