Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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