I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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