YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
