Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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