It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize