Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
