beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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