You really coming over, don't trick.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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