What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
