yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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