I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Sext me about skeletons
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
