You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
