I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
