Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
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