Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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