I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
