Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
