If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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