So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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