I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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