OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
