pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
