Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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