yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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