he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
