hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
