What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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