What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
