Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
