So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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