So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
