Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
