therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
