Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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