Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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