Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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