I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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