Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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