that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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