There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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