And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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